Let me preface this entire piece by saying that I am a Drake stan. Does he make questionable decisions? At times, yes. Generally speaking, is his music more enjoyable than not? Yes, again. I’m always here for a Drake album (admittedly a little less eager for a collaborative project, but hey, I’ll take what I can get). In pure honesty, after my first listen, I was like, “wtf?” Since his debut, Drake has been known as the quintessential certified lover boy: emotionally apt, seemingly self-aware, you know, the thoughtful, romantic type. I felt as if I had been thrown a curveball by some of the anti-feminist lyrics directed towards women. Maybe I’m getting old or some shit, because I definitely turned my head sideways… several times. My second listen was a different experience, I knew what to expect, it certainly held a lower shock value.
Overall, it’s exactly what I wanted in terms of vibe and production:
Can I listen to it while at the gym? Check.
Can I listen while cleaning the house? Check.
Can I have it on while I design, write, and illustrate? Check.
Despite the checked boxes, there’s just something a little off-putting about men getting their shit off when it comes to women. Rap girls talking about rich men who trick on them is extremely different from grown men stunting on women. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but if I could, I’d have to wash it.
Drake, I still love you, I can teach you things, we can work through this.
Your Honour, in the case of the people versus one Champagne Papi, I present to you exhibits A through F:
A. “I’ll blow a hundred million on you hoes, I’m a feminist”
Sir, a feminist would never call a woman a “hoe”, unless it was in some type of empowering, motivational way - but even then, you’d have to have a rapport with the forenamed “hoe” (and maybe not make it a blanket statement, babe). With that being said, did you know that black women are the leading demographic when it comes to newly opened small businesses? In my opinion, this is an extremely favourable circumstance for funding opportunities. Don’t you agree? Would love to set up a time to pitch you, what’s your schedule like in the upcoming weeks?
B. “Let’s have sex in the car, the Maybach came with a bar, I’m wiping my dick with her bra”
I had to check today’s date to confirm that it’s 2022, and we are in fact grown ups. WHEN-WAS-THE-LAST-TIME-YOU-HAD-SEX-IN-A-CAR?!?!?! We have homes, couth, and muscles that easily strain! Goodness, gracious me. And why tf would you wipe your dick with my bra? If that isn’t the rudest, most inconsiderate thing I’ve heard all day. You’re telling me, you drive a Maybach, yet you don’t have any napkins in the glove compartment? Not even a Kleenex box? Who are you??!?!?!
C. “How you come over the spot, when you know it’s your time of the month?”
What if I enjoy your company? What if I’m more than the orifices of my body? We both know that we’re gonna eat when I come over, and guess what comes with my time of the month, sweetheart? You got it; an increased, almost insatiable appetite for greasy foods. Be over in ten, I just have to change my tampon.
D. “Hope you ain't lovin' the crew. How many bodies you got? Pray it ain't more than a few”
Now, where tf do I even start with this one?! Sit down, let’s get comfortable. You, as a grown man, should never ask a woman about her “body count”, it’s ignorant and ill-mannered. The number of sex partners a woman has had bears zero relevance to her worth. If that’s the road you’re choosing to go down, let’s see your hitlist, hmm. Most men who are preoccupied with a woman’s body count are either incels or gyalis’, when you point a finger, three point back - dig deep, homie.
E. “Would you die for me? Would you go at n*ggas necks like a tie for me? Do the time for a crime you didn't do for me?”
NO. NO. And NO. Never. Please take these lyrics back and tuck them away somewhere they’ll never be seen again. We are no longer absorbing the consequences of your poor judgment. Actually, you know what? Delete me from your contacts.
F. “Shorty say she graduated, she ain't learn еnough. Play your album, track one, 'kay, I heard enough”
I’ll stand eleven toes down (don’t ask), when I say that female rappers are currently out-rapping their male counterparts. I can’t even tell you the last time I listened to a rap playlist that wasn’t female dominated - not because they don’t exist, but because they all suck!!! Yes, my opinion is highly subjective, but this here shit is mine, if you don’t like it, you know what to do.
Women rappers to listen to: GloRilla, KenTheMan, Big Boss Vette, Latto (obv), Lebra Jolie, Baby Tate, Princess Nokia, Rubi Rose - run that shit uppppppppp!!!!
One of my fave Spotify Playlists CLICK HERE